The short story of I in a video game

Sharing this very short story for a quick motivational read. Hope you all like the #thursdaythoughts. Be well and joyful!

The Dream of the Closed Door!

It felt like a nightmare. I was standing in front of a beautifully carved closed door, frantically trying to open it. But it was not opening. I was knocking and screaming. But nothing… I was not getting any answer.

I was stuck, obsessive and angry. Was I incapable, unworthy and a failure? Why was that closed door not opening for me? Why were others getting access to it? Why, not me?

I couldn’t explore anything else because I was stuck with this one. And it won’t open. And this was the only reason for my not moving on – because it won’t open. I had a vague idea that there was ‘That’ behind the closed door. And I wanted ‘That’ like others.

Finally, my ego couldn’t take anymore. So, I broke open the door. And enjoyed breaking the damn door. But when I broke the door, something broke in me too.

And what did I find behind the door? Nothing! A partially dark room with no outlet. It was stifling and suffocating. Those walls had imprisoned me.

Who was playing such ghastly tricks on me? I had seen a group of revelers go inside through the same door, just a while ago. I had heard blissful chanting from inside. They had all got ‘That’. But I was being denied! I felt unlucky and miserable.

Just then, I heard a voice. A shadowy character appeared in the empty room.

“What, how did this closed door open? Wow, there is nothing here!”

“I broke it open. Yes, there is nothing here for us. But I think others got access to ‘That’,” I said quietly.

“Ah, I see! This door wouldn’t open for me too so I moved on. And found ‘That’ through another door. I am glad I didn’t waste my time here. This door was never meant for me.”

“Why didn’t you come earlier? I wasted my time staying stuck and then breaking this damn door,” I cried.

“May be you were supposed to break it…”

The shadowy character disappeared and I stood there startled. “May be I was supposed to break it…!”

But how was I to go further from here? There were just four walls around me and no doors.

I had nothing to do so I started fixing the broken door. It felt good. Then I painted a bright red sign on that door using my lipstick.

If this door opens for you, it’s great! But if it doesn’t, that’s even better. Accept it and move on or you will be stuck.

It was funny. After years of struggle, anger, frustration, defeat, ego crush and emptiness I was doing some fixing job on the same door that had brought me so much misery.

Just then, I became aware of light in the room. There was a small closet towards the right wall. Light was coming through there.

With great effort, I said good bye to the now fixed door and entered the closet.

The closet opened to a corridor on the other side. There were many people and many doors. And they were all trying to open doors.

Unfortunately, everyone was busy knocking at the wrong doors. Some like me, were obsessed with the wrong door. Others were simply stuck.

But I had learnt my lesson. The only way to find ‘That’ was to move on and explore. My door was somewhere near. I felt like a little girl on a mission…

I was fearlessly liberated after a long time, open to every kind of experience in my journey towards ‘That’.

And the best thing was – I had learnt to gratefully say ‘Thank You’ to every door that was closing on me.

It was not a nightmare, rather a beautiful dream!

(Image courtesy Google)

5 Quotes that echo my thoughts…

I came across these 5 lovely quotes and thought of sharing it with you. I firmly believe that whatever happens may not align with our expectations but it is always for the best in the long run.

So, acceptance of the situation, gratitude for what we have and the belief that all will be well can do wonders. After all, ‘He’ is there to take care of everything! Stay lively and blissful. All will be taken care of!

(Images courtesy Google)

A small note of hope to You!

Hello there! How are you doing? Chances are that you are in the same situation as I am, just hanging in and waiting for this ordeal to pass. With uncertainties looming and a blurry future, going with the flow from moment to moment is the best thing to do. It keeps you afloat.

Who knew the world would change so drastically in a span of just two months? Did the people who live through the World War had the same feeling as ours? Maybe! Well, I know there are things at the back of your mind that comes to bug you often. It is only human to think, plan and analyse about the future. I have been doing it too.

But in between thoughts, struggle and survival, do not forget to breathe and appreciate what you still have – life! And with life, anything is possible!

You never know what opportunities this pandemic holds for you. Still, if everything looks dark, just hang on, it’s about to be dawn. When there is collective misery, it won’t last long. Hold on! We just have to keep looking out for each other during this time.

Therefore, dear friend, I am sharing some of my favorite quotes to brighten your moment and hoping that you will like it. Sending lots of prayers for health, luck, peace and success to the world! Stay safe and be well.

(Images courtesy Google)

Paw Things#5 – A dog’s thoughts amidst Coronavirus spread!

Bow wow from Happy! Well guys, can someone tell me what’s going on? What kind of emergency situation is this? There is a big question mark on my face.

The dad is getting more stuff than usual. What is the need of a cart full of grocery? The mom is forcing brothers to wash hands frequently.

She is constantly giving directions – wash your hands, don’t touch this, go change your clothes…! She is even rationing food items. Imagine!

I have never seen them like this. Is this normal for humans to panic or something else is going on? I am just seven months old so still learning, you see!

The brothers are clueless too as the changes are being made around us. They are feeling restricted and not going out at all. Kids sitting at home, how boring is that! The weather is nice today but not many people are socializing. Hmmm…

I heard the mom talking on phone that schools and colleges are closing. The stores are running out of supplies. President Trump might announce something today. I feel like asking them – hope you guys have stored dog food, ahem!

Are they under reacting or over reacting? I don’t know! All I hear is corona… corona…something virus is spreading.

Nine people have got it in Minnesota. Well, good that everyone is taking precautions but I would like to tell them that the panic part is unnecessary.

There might be something positive in this emergency situation after all since the world is coming together to fight it.

Also, it is making people grateful for what they already have and aware of things that they might have been taking for granted – health, food, family, society etc…

Well, guys, I am taking a break from this Corona something virus and going to play with my ball. Care to join, huh? Stay safe and healthy. Bow wow!

Plans may not work for new mothers, but moments do!

When my kids were little and I was in a new country away from family and friends, I often felt stuck and overburdened. No plan ever worked, there was no respite from constant care giving and it was a struggle to even have a proper bath.

At that time someone told me – Just take one day at a time as no plan works around babies and concentrate on moments… This advice of taking one day at a time, specifically, one moment at a time worked wonders for me. Because the struggle and stress due to failed plans, unfinished tasks and over-expectations were not there.

In retrospect, I realize that since I started concentrating on moments, other things began to fall in place. By focusing on little things, big things happened by default. I became more open and flexible to accepting changes in plans.

If the day would go smoothly, I would be grateful to the baby and the almighty. If it would be a hard day, I knew the struggle won’t last. Things would change the next day or the day after. And amidst these fun and struggling moments, I found my creative moments too. I managed to create this precious blog that improved me in many ways.

There were times when I felt others were going way ahead of me socially and career-wise. You know how social-media is, right? It over activates the green eyed monster who pokes and pinches you when you see people striding ahead, having fun, going places etc.

Well, little by little, the monster stopped bugging me because I had began to enjoy my own moments. My kids were a revelation to me and I felt how easy it was to enjoy ‘NOW’ with a baby around. That divine form, baby gestures and language.. I was hooked.

I also think I was lucky in many ways because I was not facing financial issues and got solid support from my husband. It is harder for those who have to work and have no support but still, I think, concentrating on moments would cut down the stress drastically.

Now, I make plans and follow a routine since there are no cranky babies to feed or care for. My kids go to school. I am beginning to concentrate on my ambitions and life again. This is great too! I know I am far behind my peers career-wise and it feels like I am starting from scratch again. Also my preferences and considerations have changed, so I am looking for a different career path. But it does not really bother me because the babyhood days of my kids have taught me a lot.

And amidst all this, if you ask me – Which is a better experience – life with plans or life with moments? I would say – life with plans is very comfortable and smooth but life with moments was simply divine!

The moments happened automatically with babies around. And I am glad I didn’t rush through them in pursuit of other plans. Other plans hardly worked out but moments always did! I am glad that I followed that advice…

Images courtesy Google

Just a Thought – Rejection

Every winner reaches the top by climbing a mountain of rejection, refusing to get buried after an avalanche of disappointments. And then, getting up to climb back again with renewed determination.

Winners know that reaching the top is not in their hands but climbing up is and that is what they do till the end… relentlessly, tirelessly and zealously.

Winners do not fear disappointments or rejections. They know the mountain of rejection is sacred, because the process of climbing, falling down, getting hurt and starting again shows them what they have got and what they are made of…!

No, nothing can break their spirit… let alone the mountain of Rejection. Because winners know that nothing is more stronger than a resilient will made of their unyielding spirit! They will just not give up!

Get up and keep climbing friends, that is the most important part!

Images courtesy Google

10 Thoughts on Moving Out of Comfort Zone

After almost a decade of being a stay at home mom and a homemaker, I am thinking of pushing myself out of this comfortable, cozy zone that I created on a mental and physical plane by taking up a job. And lo, crazy thoughts are bugging me already! So, it is like I see a stern version of me (Scary Shivangi) speaking in an automated voice as I go about doing my daily work.

My automated voice talks to me about challenges of moving out of the comfort zone as well as other problems I might face. And I tell myself that mostly every mom or person faces many challenges after a big career gap. I know the professional world has changed since the last time I was there but still there is always a way out. However, the automated voice continues to throw googlies at me. Here are some of those questions –

1) Mornings are busy packing lunches and getting kids ready for school, how will you manage through the rush?

2) You love to sit quietly and just ponder, you will miss it in a rush to make it to work.

3) The weather conditions in Minnesota makes it unattractive to go out and work. Why should you harass yourself by going out in the snow?

4) Are you good enough to get a job of your liking?

5) If you do get a job of your liking, will you be able to handle the demands?

6) If you get an easy job that would be different from your skill set, will you go for it?

7) If you go for doing something on your own, it will take a lot of time and commitment to get monetary benefits. Are you ready for it?

8) Apart from leaving your comfort zone, will you be inviting stress in your life by taking on additional work?

9) In a rush to monetize your free time, will you become less creative?

10) Look at your career gap, it is huge. You will need an enormous effort to revamp your lifestyle!

So, there you go! You see, so many crazy, disjointed but relevant questions are bugging me. My working friends always tell me – sab ho jata hai (everything falls in place). And I hope they are right! I am sure there exists a harmonious path that will balance out everything. The only problem is I should be willing and motivated enough to take up the challenge of stepping out of the comfort zone.

I have written this post to vent out my thoughts. Thank you for patiently reading and understanding. And if you have any advice, do share, right away please.

(Images courtesy Google)

Just A Thought – Small Voice!

As I tried to respond foolishly on an impulse about a situation, as I usually do, the small, quiet voice said in a whisper – stop, observe your self talk, observe yourself judging others, observe yourself speculating and concluding. Half of the things you think are just random imaginative thoughts, a quarter is based on past or future thus irrelevant. And only a tiny bit is required NOW for existence. Why waste so much of your precious energy acting on every thought? Do not identify with any of your thoughts in your mind… you are the master and the mind is just a tool!

But the mind’s job is to think, assess and judge, it has to talk, right?, I asked.

Yes, but instead of tackling the situation calmly, mind with runaway thoughts will take you on a horror roller coaster ride. The mind loves to create, negate and make fuss about nothing. Half of the things it makes up is pure fiction… laugh at it and stay the master. It is just a tool, make it work to realize your full potential. Make it work to assess a situation, judge wisely and then act. Or else, you will be a slave! One day the mind will know that all its random gibberish has no effect on You. And then it will work only when You want it to work!

The moment of impulse passed, thank god I stopped and listened to the so often ignored, small voice! I handled the situation better🙏🏻

Three Men and God

So, one day, three men, who were friends, began their search for God in the magic jungle. They reached the jungle and looked around. The first friend, saw a cave, and unwittingly entered it thus losing his way entirely. But his search for God was so intense, he did not care about darkness or dangers and walked on. It was a very tough, long, long journey, with no companion, no food and absolutely nothing for support. He became skeletal and hardships troubled him at every turn. There were beasts around, and scary thoughts as well as physical handicaps but he continued walking just because he knew nothing else to do. Eventually, he found the exit of the cave and concluded God is ‘Nothing’. And instantly got enlightenment.

Soon after this, his second friend called him from a nearby stream. He was rowing a boat, looked drenched and tired . On reaching the shore, he got down, tied his boat and came to sit by his first friend. The first friend enquired about his journey. The second friend said -“When I lost sight of you two, I found the river and the boat. The journey was exhausting, with severe ups and downs, and there were agitating storms and heavy rains. At one point of time I was sure to drown. But I found a certain balance, somewhere in the middle. So, this understanding helped me to find the perfect balance in the boat. The whole time, I stayed on the middle path, and I survived.” The moment, he uttered – Middle Path, the second friend got enlightenment! Now, they waited for the arrival of the third friend.

The third friend soon joined them. He came running down a hill, and looked healthy, happy and upbeat. His two friends asked in chorus – “How was your journey, friend?” The third friend said – “Divine and blissful!!! You see, when I lost my way, I was terribly sad and scared. I climbed a mountain top, looking for both of you, but couldn’t see you anywhere. But then, I found a very interesting rock. I began to sculpt the rock and created a fascinating companion.” He showed a rock statue of a little, naughty looking boy to his friends. “I was missing your company, my friends, so I would talk to this statue, the playful guy. This guy answered all my questions. And you know, He became my guiding light. He made mockery of the dangers and I learnt to laugh with him. We enjoyed exploring the jungle – the cave, the river, waterfalls and mountains….all was fun, because I had Him. I was free of fear, sadness, stress and attachment because He was with me and I was devoted to Him.” The moment, he said – Devoted, the third friend got enlightenment.

Then, the statue suddenly laughed and said – “Journey matters friends, as much as the destination. And if you find devotion, you attain the highest form of intelligence and life becomes a breeze.” The three enlightened men smiled together.

(This story alighted in my mind out of nowhere and I thought of capturing it in this blog.)

Just a Thought – Camera!

We try to look and behave our best if there happens to be a camera around. We instantly change our expression from frown to smile and adjust our dress to look perfect. If we spot a surveillance camera somewhere, we feel conscious of being watched and behave lawfully.

But how about the ‘witness’ camera we carry within us all the time. The observer, the beholder, the watcher is always there watching us nonchalantly. Why are we not always conscious or aware of the watcher? Wouldn’t this awareness change us to be the best version of ourselves? Would something change if the watcher is watched back by us often? And is the watcher in you the same as the watcher in me? How so?

Ponder and share your thoughts, dears.

(Image courtesy Google)

How to ‘Just Be’!

I have heard several discourses and sermons teaching us to ‘just be’. But how to ‘just be’? I have been told miraculous physical and psychological benefits if you practice stillness. Now, with so much technology and entertainment overpowering our mind, there is not much scope of it. Is it? Stillness in chaos?

Well, recently I came across a remarkable person (He wishes to be anonymous), who showed me steps as to how to just be. I will talk about this anonymous writer some other time. But for now, here are the steps. Read slowly.

1) Initially sit calmly, in a quiet place. Once you get the knack of it you can handle even a fish market. But in the beginning, avoid disturbance. Now, close your eyes, listen to sounds around you. The clocks tick tock, humming sound of refrigerator, sounds of vehicles etc….

2) The moment you start relaxing, thoughts will come with hammers to bang your head. All past, present and future thoughts coupled with disturbing intrusive talks will crowd your mind. Hmmm…never, ever block them or react to them, they are just passing clouds. Just observe them and let go. They will pass, you’ll stay. They mean nothing.

3) Now, you are an observer, just observing yourself. Deep breaths will start coming on its own. You will relax. You are a part of larger consciousness. It will take care of you and take you in. Breathe! Breathe deeper again.

4) You will start to enjoy the process. But after sometime thoughts return, egoistical and supposedly positive ones this time. You will feel you are gaining super natural powers or great superior things will happen to you etc! Just observe them with equanimity, do not get carried away, remember you have to just be! The deceptive thoughts are taking you towards result, towards future. No, just enjoy Now! Just keep listening to the sounds….just listen to sounds. Just be! Breathe…

5) Hmmm…so, what now after ‘just be’ state? Well, nothing… nothingness! You just said hello to yourself. That’s it! This is not a result oriented practice but it does bring far better results than anything else. But try not to concentrate on the result part. Just enjoy being in Now and at peace with your surrounding, enveloped by an enormous consciousness! The consciousness will take care of you and everything. Never worry! Have you observed a baby? He is naturally a part of the larger consciousness and so are you. You just have ‘to be’! Let thoughts and disturbances come and pass, ‘just be’ for some golden moments everyday. And say – Hello, Me!

I really enjoyed learning this from my friend. Just felt like forwarding the information and sharing it with you. Love always, dears! May you, just be!

(Images courtesy Google)