Tag: parenting blog
Plans may not work for new mothers, but moments do!
When my kids were little and I was in a new country away from family and friends, I often felt stuck and overburdened. No plan ever worked, there was no respite from constant care giving and it was a struggle to even have a proper bath.
At that time someone told me – Just take one day at a time as no plan works around babies and concentrate on moments… This advice of taking one day at a time, specifically, one moment at a time worked wonders for me. Because the struggle and stress due to failed plans, unfinished tasks and over-expectations were not there.
In retrospect, I realize that since I started concentrating on moments, other things began to fall in place. By focusing on little things, big things happened by default. I became more open and flexible to accepting changes in plans.
If the day would go smoothly, I would be grateful to the baby and the almighty. If it would be a hard day, I knew the struggle won’t last. Things would change the next day or the day after. And amidst these fun and struggling moments, I found my creative moments too. I managed to create this precious blog that improved me in many ways.
There were times when I felt others were going way ahead of me socially and career-wise. You know how social-media is, right? It over activates the green eyed monster who pokes and pinches you when you see people striding ahead, having fun, going places etc.
Well, little by little, the monster stopped bugging me because I had began to enjoy my own moments. My kids were a revelation to me and I felt how easy it was to enjoy ‘NOW’ with a baby around. That divine form, baby gestures and language.. I was hooked.
I also think I was lucky in many ways because I was not facing financial issues and got solid support from my husband. It is harder for those who have to work and have no support but still, I think, concentrating on moments would cut down the stress drastically.
Now, I make plans and follow a routine since there are no cranky babies to feed or care for. My kids go to school. I am beginning to concentrate on my ambitions and life again. This is great too! I know I am far behind my peers career-wise and it feels like I am starting from scratch again. Also my preferences and considerations have changed, so I am looking for a different career path. But it does not really bother me because the babyhood days of my kids have taught me a lot.
And amidst all this, if you ask me – Which is a better experience – life with plans or life with moments? I would say – life with plans is very comfortable and smooth but life with moments was simply divine!
The moments happened automatically with babies around. And I am glad I didn’t rush through them in pursuit of other plans. Other plans hardly worked out but moments always did! I am glad that I followed that advice…
Images courtesy Google
Stories by Shivangi 