Plans may not work for new mothers, but moments do!

When my kids were little and I was in a new country away from family and friends, I often felt stuck and overburdened. No plan ever worked, there was no respite from constant care giving and it was a struggle to even have a proper bath.

At that time someone told me – Just take one day at a time as no plan works around babies and concentrate on moments… This advice of taking one day at a time, specifically, one moment at a time worked wonders for me. Because the struggle and stress due to failed plans, unfinished tasks and over-expectations were not there.

In retrospect, I realize that since I started concentrating on moments, other things began to fall in place. By focusing on little things, big things happened by default. I became more open and flexible to accepting changes in plans.

If the day would go smoothly, I would be grateful to the baby and the almighty. If it would be a hard day, I knew the struggle won’t last. Things would change the next day or the day after. And amidst these fun and struggling moments, I found my creative moments too. I managed to create this precious blog that improved me in many ways.

There were times when I felt others were going way ahead of me socially and career-wise. You know how social-media is, right? It over activates the green eyed monster who pokes and pinches you when you see people striding ahead, having fun, going places etc.

Well, little by little, the monster stopped bugging me because I had began to enjoy my own moments. My kids were a revelation to me and I felt how easy it was to enjoy ‘NOW’ with a baby around. That divine form, baby gestures and language.. I was hooked.

I also think I was lucky in many ways because I was not facing financial issues and got solid support from my husband. It is harder for those who have to work and have no support but still, I think, concentrating on moments would cut down the stress drastically.

Now, I make plans and follow a routine since there are no cranky babies to feed or care for. My kids go to school. I am beginning to concentrate on my ambitions and life again. This is great too! I know I am far behind my peers career-wise and it feels like I am starting from scratch again. Also my preferences and considerations have changed, so I am looking for a different career path. But it does not really bother me because the babyhood days of my kids have taught me a lot.

And amidst all this, if you ask me – Which is a better experience – life with plans or life with moments? I would say – life with plans is very comfortable and smooth but life with moments was simply divine!

The moments happened automatically with babies around. And I am glad I didn’t rush through them in pursuit of other plans. Other plans hardly worked out but moments always did! I am glad that I followed that advice…

Images courtesy Google

Small Things # 5 – Why do moms stare?

When we were small, I would often feel my mother’s eyes on us during gatherings and functions. In between chats and chores, she would stop and look at me and my siblings.

When I grew up a little, I would get irritated and ask her why she keeps checking on us. “To see whether you look fine,” she would answer with a smile.

Today, I caught myself doing the same thing. The older one looked at me, perplexed. I stopped staring and asked myself the same question – Why was I staring? The mom in me answered – “To see whether they are growing up fine. And to assure myself that I am taking good care of them.” I perfectly understood my mother then!

Images courtesy Google

Announcing Free Book with Big Thank You!

Very recently, my blog turned 2 and I feel gratitude as well as so much love for you. All of you have influenced me in your own individual ways. THANK YOU! Today, I am also mustering courage to present my 2nd Kids free ebook – ‘Who Ate The Moon?‘, available on Apple – https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/who-ate-the-moon/id1206671343?mt=11.

The book is about two naughty brothers, Aala and Uja, who unhook the moon off the sky and hide it in a fireplace. But something or somebody eats the moon!!! To know more, download it for free…

The book is also available on Blurb – http://www.blurb.com/b/7758497-who-ate-the-moon?ebook=614969 (Add to Cart and give your email Id) as well as Smashwords -https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/699450

In order to make the book even more accessible to our little ones, I have created a sort of audio book on YouTube. Please excuse my accent in the video. The book is less than 7 minutes long, fit for a quick watch.

My first ebook – The Princess with Brown Teeth was a huge learning experience for me. I have learnt a lot in this one too and am still learning. Your feedback, likes and share will help me immensely.

Thanks once again for being there for two long years!

The Big Brother

He knew it was late. His mother would be anxiously waiting for him but he wanted to dilly dally. He wished, she could come down to receive him at the bus stop just like she used to do! But these days she was always busy with the whining little thing, they brought from the hospital. 

It was his dream to be a big brother but now he realised how challenging it was. The baby was a cranky one. If only they could replace her with a sweet, sleepy baby! He no longer liked being a big brother. He wanted constant attention from his parents more than ever.

Dragging his feet, he went home. His mother was at the door with the baby. She reproached him for loitering around. But the cranky one smiled. He ignored her. But she cooed again and held out her baby hand. 

His feelings changed from dejection to exhilaration! She was quite cute, after all!

(This is my entry to the flash fiction challenge, Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers hosted by the lovely Priceless Joy. We are given a photo prompt and approximately 75-175 words with which to create our stories. This challenge is open to all who would like to participate. Thank you Jessica Haines for the image. Please CLICK HERE for more.)

5 Dirty Secrets of Mothers!

Yo mothers! I know all your dirty little secrets since I am a mother too. We lead a life that demands constant activity, sacrifice and 24×7 caregiving. Our everyday battles involve commotions, screams, tantrums and hullabaloo over silliest of things. 

So if we have some dirty secrets, we need to be excused! Shouldn’t we?

1) If the baby is sleeping near our closet, we often wear anything from unwashed nightgowns to hubby’s worn out t-shirt after bathing rather than taking the risk of waking the baby up.

2) We excel in eating messy leftovers of kids. This saves food and our energy. After all, eating is important for us not the style.

3) The rule is – never put your hand in a mother’s handbag! You may get revolted on touching used wipes, toffee wrappers and spilt juices on the inside. It is full if tidbits which is there just for satisfaction sake. 

4) Another rule is – watch when you borrow a mother’s phone! It may be battered, greasy or simply discoloured. It often is smeared with  cooking oil, baby food and spices. Most of the time, it becomes non functional and gets reduced to being the favourite toy of the baby.

5) We may have uncountable clothes in our closet but our complaints about ‘nothing to wear’ is justified! One quarter of our clothes are stained with baby poop, food or oil, other clothes are either too big or too small due to changes in our bodies within a span of few years. Some clothes are not ironed and others are simply not washed.

Mothers do many circus acts and perform shortcuts too to multitask. Often, a day seems too small to finish our chores. We need to be celebrated even if we look sloppy, unwashed with messy hair as long as we are bringing up a healthy family. Shouldn’t we!

So, three cheers for all of us! We may be chubby, messy, greasy and at times, overwhelmed and saucy but we are doing the noblest of noble jobs. Please accept our slovenliness for some time and applaud us!

Images courtesy Google

First post by my lil one

First post by my one year old!-

 Uu💐😥🗾🗾😀🍨😊😋❤️🍰❤️😀😬😆😇😇😀🙃🙈🙈🙈🕶🐔🐔🐔♓️📳♉️📳.

He was playing with my phone when he did this mischief. Initially, I thought of deleting it and then stopped. 

You all must have guessed about the author on seeing the content of this post. I have saved this post to show him his doing, when he grows up! 

Now, can you decipher this code? Well, I cannot!

I think, my baby wants to say hello to you all. Or may be he just wants to bug you all a little.

Anyways, lot’s of love and have a great weekend my dear friends.And yes, sorry for any inconvenience caused!

See you soon.

Two years and going strong…

  (This Valentine Special is a guest post by my friend and blogger Mini Singh.)

…I told him, “ I love you “. He was too busy checking out the new wheels and didn’t answer. I was dumbfounded! I waited for a few more seconds and then I said with little more emphasis on those three simple yet most important words, “I LOVE YOU”. He gave me one long look, which went right into my soul. I noticed him taking in my chunky nerdy glasses, dishevelled hair and a tired looking face. But he finally lisped the sweetest words, “I ove you”.

I couldn’t be more happier hearing these words. My little boy has turned two this week. He can’t yet pronounce words with letter ‘L’ in them and tends to say lollipop as ‘wayapop’ and love as ‘ove’. The only L-word he has mastered is ‘Lets go’, perfect to remind us that it’s time to go out for a walk. He likes spinning things, pretty much every thing that he lays his eyes upon and is always on the move. He can be especially seen in our wooden corridor near the entrance as the house is fully carpeted and the little explorer has already understood there is less friction from wood than other surfaces. And after spinning every new object, he turns around seeking an audience, and then our eyes meet and he beams with pride borne out of great accomplishment. I feel great to be a mother at moments like this. Motherhood is indeed blessed!

I have learnt with time and maturity that endless love comes only from a child and all they need in return is time and attention. We need to nourish them well, nurture them into fine human beings and try to be there always. Because they are what we will leave behind.

Have a look at my little beloved, who has changed my life forever!

  

Milk that jumped out from the table

   
 Once upon a time, there was a little boy who hated drinking milk. The sight of a glass full of warm milk made him fussy. The moment he saw milk, he would throw tantrums and make excuses to run out of the room.

The glass full of milk would feel very sad and sorry for herself. She would come soaked in chocolate and strawberries still the little boy hated her. And being hated and neglected is not a nice feeling!

The glass full of milk tried her best to make herself attractive but to no avail. The little boy still ignored her.

One fine day, she got tired of waiting on the table. She planned to make an exit from the boy’s life forever. She shifted onto the edge of the table and jumped on the floor. The glass was broken and the milk was gone. Curly kitten, Pancake puppy and blacky ants had a great time licking the milk away from the floor.

  
The little boy clapped and felt happy that he would no more be burdened by having to drink milk twice everyday for good health and teeth.

As days passed by, the little boy started facing problems. He had developed the habit of eating junk food and candies which made him less strong and energetic. As a result, he fell sick. He got a few painful shots on the bum which hurt him very much.

As he lay on the bed, the curly kitten came to him. She looked very healthy and beautiful. The sad little boy asked the kitten – “Don’t you ever fall sick Curly? What makes you so strong?” “No,” said the Curly kitten. “I drink milk and eat good food. That is why I am so strong.” The boy remembered how the kitten used to drink his leftover milk everyday.

Later, the plump white Pancake puppy, came there to play. The little boy asked the same question –
“Don’t you ever fall sick Pancake? What makes you so strong?” “No,” said the Pancake puppy. “I drink milk and eat good food. That is why I am so strong.” The boy remembered how the puppy used to drink his leftover milk everyday.

He remembered how he had neglected the glass full of milk. He felt apologetic. He realised that the only way to grow healthy and strong as well as escape shots in the bum was to drink milk.

To the great surprise of his parents, the little boy requested milk that night. Immediately, his mother got him a warm glass brimming with milk and kept it on the table.

   
But lo and behold!The milk jumped from the table again. The mother got another one but same thing happened again. The boy understood that the milk was angry with him.

The wise little boy thought of a plan. The moment his mother brought milk again, he jumped out of the bed, took it from her hand ( before she could put it on the table) kissed it, and drank it at one go… Everyone clapped. The curly kitten and Pancake puppy broke into a jig.

The little boy started drinking milk everyday and he grew big and strong. The glass full of milk remained his best friend even when he grew into a very old man.

So, the moral of the story is – Little boys and girls should always readily drink milk at one go… or else you know what happens when milk starts jumping out of the table…! 

  

( Dedicated to all the little ones in your family. Drink milk, eat right and stay healthy.)

Images courtesy google

On the other side of the mirror!

 I see her everyday. The mother, the wife, the homemaker! I witness her pitter patter since morning as she packs lunch for husband and kid, in a hush hush way as to not rouse the baby sleeping in the bedroom.

But the baby is a light sleeper, he wakes up. She rushes to him. She has become an expert in doing chores while balancing the babe in one arm. She manages again!

When the hubby and kid leave, she catches her breath before tending to the little one. Juggling between bathing him, diaper change, feeding and cleaning up, she manages to gulp down her cold breakfast.

She has to plan out her day according to the routine of the baby. The bathroom and lunch preparing time would be when the baby sleeps. She puts the baby to sleep. The baby acts cranky. Her arms and back ache but she tries to soothe him.

Perhaps, the baby feels sympathetic towards mommy and sleeps at last. She enters the bathroom, just then the phone rings! She rushes out of the bath fearing the baby would wake up, but thankfully he doesn’t. She rushes through the conversation and hangs up quickly. She takes a quick shower and performs her ritual prayer.

It is time to prepare lunch. The baby wakes up before time. She has to play the jugglar again. She cooks as well as humours the little one. They play hide and seek and funny little games. She finds heaven in these moments.

She tries to relax after lunch. The older one returns, excited and chattering about his day in school. It is time to pay exclusive attention to him. The kid wants her to play with him. While his energy level is high, she has just her will power to hold on to. She has to keep an eye on both of them now.

Evening times are chit chat time. But I seldom hear her talk. She enjoys listening to them. Dinner is prepared and served. The husband helps as much as he can. He always does. She knows it was a long day for him too and feels loved!

Her body is sore when she goes to bed, ready for nighttime waking and feeding. She thinks and plans for the next day…food, grocery, kids’ school, doctor’s visit… a myriad things. She sleeps ready to wake up with the slightest stir or movement of the baby.

It is during her night time waking, between feeds, that she comes to me. It is the only time she looks at me closely. I, her mirror image, stare back at her! I try to look for that once carefree girl with a hundred dreams in her eyes…I do not see those eyes. The girls’ eyes were bright, ambitious and playful. Her eyes are different. She is different, the girl is gone.

These eyes are of a mother, who seldom thinks of herself. She is illkempt, preoccupied and always in a hurry. Everyday I look at the different shades on her face…sometimes she is irritated and tired, at other times she looks contented and occassionally she is ruffled, but one shade is dominant throughout – It is that of pride! Pride in fact that she is doing her duty well.

She knows the dreams of the ‘girl in her’ can wait. But the heavenly moments of motherhood will never ever come back. Her kids need her now, nothing else matters. After a few years, she will have enough time for herself then she will miss it all…hugging, feeding, playing…everything. The lady in one of the stores had rightly advised her – pay attention to your kids, they grow up very fast. The woman on the other side of the mirror has put motherhood above everything else that matters, like millions of mothers across the world.

She believes Motherhood is a ‘tapasya’, a state of selflessness that enables one to experience the sublimest and divinest emotions.

I look at her and read her mind everyday. At times, I feel sort of restlessness in her. It is a fact that not many admire or value a homemaker, and this affects her sense of worth. But next moment, that feeling of pride returns, her temporary conflict disappears and she becomes a contented mother again. I, her mirror image, admire her soft face at such times.

But I also want to keep reminding her of the girl, she once was. And I will resolutely do that. For I know, when her kids grow up and there will no more be aching arms, swollen eyes and lullabys, the dreamy girl in her, will keep her company. The girl will show her purpose of life further…after the kids move on in life. The girl is her essence, and she should be in touch with her.

Till then, I wish happy motherhood to her…to my beloved mirror image!

(This post is dedicated to all mothers, working and non working, who I am sure have great stories to tell about motherhood. This is my story! I have been a SAHM ( Stay At Home Mother) since the past five years and it has been the most memorable and rewarding phase in my life.)

Why Breast Feeding is A Miracle!

I have been reading a lot of articles on blog sites…some good, some excellent and a few I would like to put in ‘must read’ category. Adel Landman’s blog is in the must read category for new mums – http://paddastoel.wordpress.com/2015/03/06/why-the-men-in-your-family-dont-want-you-to-breast-feed-and-how-to-do-it-anyway/.

It is a detailed analysis on breast-feeding…it will be a great help for new mothers and mums-to-be to study the same. I really appreciate Adel for publishing the article as it has some invaluable information.

I commented on her article that breast feeding is not only good for the infant but also for the new mother. I have breast-fed my older one and currently feeding my baby. It has been a wonderful experience for me. It makes me feel so much closer to my baby. After the birth of my child, when I used to feel emotionally and physically drained, feeding my child not only nourished my little one but also strengthened me.

Breast feeding is a two-way process. It is mutually beneficial for the mother and the child. I think the breast feeding takes away depressive thoughts, it makes the moms happier and I think, prettier:).

So, be encouraged to feed your child. It is quite harrowing in the beginning but a miracle after you get comfortable! I hope everyone manages to enjoy this beautiful aspect of motherhood.

Thank you Adel for addressing this great topic. Looking forward to reading more on your site 🙂