Small Things#10 – School Jokes

A fortnight back, my older one returned from school with his head full of jokes from a fun riddle book. And the great thing was he had memorized most of them. Here are a few from his mirthful joke telling session:-

Q. How do bees ride home from school?

A. Simple…school buzz!

Q. What did the sloppy student put on his homework?

A. Eeks…Peanut butter and jelly.

Q. Why did the student put a flashlight in his lunch?

A. Because it was a light lunch!

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7?

A. Because 7 ate(8) 9.

Q. What is a light year?

A. A year with really little homework!

Q. What do you call a vampire with sunglasses?

A. Vamglasses.

Undaunted by his brother’s volley of jokes, my little one made up a few –

Q. Why were the strawberry shoes flying?

A. Because it had superpower!

Q. Why was a cow wearing underpants?A.Because it was an Underpants cow!

Well…ahem…quite a session it was! Lol.

Images courtesy Google

Advertisements

Small Things#9 – Salman Khan

Last week, TV channels were going crazy over Indian Superstar Salman Khan’s stay in jail due to the infamous Black Buck Poaching Case.

My six year old, who has taken to creating jokes recently, heard the superstar being discussed often.

“Mamma,” he asked me. “What would Americans call Salman Khan?”. I said, “What?”

“Mr Salmon Khan,” he burst into laughter at his own joke. I couldn’t help smiling.

Well, I said, spare poor Salmon Khan… he has had a lot of trouble lately!

(One of his favorites is – Why was the math book sad? Ans – Because it had too many problems…lol)

Images courtesy Google

Teenager Again?

It starts from mid thirties to late forties, when skin problems and body issues return with a vengeance. Obsessed with belly fat, dental issues, skin breakouts and greying hair, one feels overwhelmed with things that do not look right. Just like those scary teenage days, when a pimple would cause a meltdown …and when everything used to be a big ‘meh’😕

Do we experience a second teenage as we glide towards forties? Do you feel the same?🤔

And then there are mood swings and dangerous outbursts that could make a devil out of us in a moment😈. Gone are the days of self assured gentleness of twenties, when metabolism was superb and one could handle anything… come what may!💃

Circle of moms become new teen gang where everyone gets judged and slandered ( Mean Moms…eh?). And then there is the social media…dear, bitter sweet social media… which feels like school campus of high school days. One cannot afford to look worn out or subtle comments might get us – you are looking different now!😒

Selfies with the perfect pout do not come easily. It takes close to hundred pictures to get it right just like in the past. It does feels so much like those teen days…doesn’t it?🤓

…probably because we are transitioning again. And it is always a little rough. But there is hope because after every teenage comes swinging, self assured, acceptable twenties. Yay! Hope to get the twenties back soon…! If teenage is here can the twenties be far behind!❤️

(Image courtesy Google)

Anecdote: Haldiram’s is Healthyram’s?

My five-year-old recently learnt about the difference between need and want foods. He was informed that milk, eggs and green leafy veggies are need while cake, chocolates etc are want.

But recently his one observation left me in splits. He asked me whether sweets like Rasgullas, Pedas and Barfis are healthy? I said, “No, sweets are want.”  He retorted in his American accent, “But sweets come from Healthy-ram’s, Right.” I couldn’t help laughing aloud!

Haldiram’s is an extremely popular sweets and snack brand in India. And it’s snack items are available in US too. We often buy Haldiram’s sweets so, my Kindergartener probably put two and two together and concluded that – Haldiram’s is Healthyram’s!

I guess the advertisers would adore the line!


Images courtesy Google

Comic Relief

As they watched a movie in the theatre, little Avi fidgeted. “When will spiderman come?”, he asked. “Hush, he will come soon,” his mom whispered, making sure others watched in peace.

In the film, the dreaded biker’s gang was wrecking the town. And the heroine was murdered. Mom had teary eyes, when Avi interrupted again. “What about Spiderman?”, he asked. “Eat the popcorns, Spiderman will come at the end,” she tried to distract him. 

He ate for a while and began to play with the popcorns. While in the film, the hero was about to be killed and there was pin drop silence! Just then, to mom’s horror, the spidey fan vocalized loudly – 

Spiderman, Spiderman, 

Does whatever a spider can

Spins a web, any size,

Catches thieves just like flies, look out…

Embarassed, she scooped the little singer up and walked out of the theatre but the crowd cheered. The film was too intense, they needed comic relief!

(This is my entry to the flash fiction challenge, Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers hosted by the amazing Priceless Joy. We are given a photo prompt and approximately 75-175 words with which to create our stories. This challenge is open to all who would like to participate. Thank you Sunayana for the image. Please CLICK HERE for more.)

Soham!!!

In the lotus position, he sat viewing the derelict pier. It was godhuli bela, the time when the grazing herd of cows returned to his village in subdued light. The calm lake, sounds of fauna, the gentle air settled him for a deep meditation.

As his half naked body relaxed, thoughts surrounded him. He did not try to stop them, just floated with them like a detached companion. Somewhere someone was playing the flute, it was magical! His mind aligned with the music, enabling him to be deeply aware of his breath. SOHAM!!!

Strangely, a cold creepy thing moved along his back. For a second he thought, it was due to Kundalini awakening but no… it felt terribly slimy! It was a KOBRA, crawling on him.

Crippled with fear and holding his breath, he waited till the snake crawled away! Then, leaving the mat behind, he ran as fast as he could!

(This is my entry to the flash fiction challenge, Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers hosted by the lovely Priceless Joy. We are given a photo prompt and approximately 75-175 words with which to create our stories. This challenge is open to all who would like to participate. Please CLICK HERE for more. Thank you Barb for the image!)

The woes of a warrior on a bicycle

Here is a hilarious post relating the woes of a cyclist on the roads of Vadodara, India. Do check it out this cool post by my brother Vikram…

Wandering Floating Thoughts

I am a cyclist. And I am about to share my woes with you. Fellow cyclists will share my pain. Even bikers will empathize with me. I guess the passengers of buses will also connect with me.

download

I landed in a hospital with a broken leg, a broken hand and several bruises.

Who were my enemies? Why this happened? It’s a “sad” tale.

I started cycling to reduce my tummy. My office is at 8 km distance from my house.  To and fro journey took hardly 50 minutes. However, it was not without danger.

I took the challenge. I knew that these dangers could be overcome. I just needed armours.

I am a fan of Greek mythology. The names of Hercules and Zeus enthrall me. I dream to be like Spartans with armours covering their well sculpted bodies.
CyclistI chose my armour.  A meter long cloth to cover my face…

View original post 859 more words